The definition of psychopath

"Psychopathy is a mental disorder characterized primarily by a lack of empathy and remorse, shallow emotions, egocentricity, and deceptiveness. Psychopaths are highly prone to antisocial behavior and abusive treatment of others, and are very disproportionately responsible for violent crime. Though lacking empathy and emotional depth, they often manage to pass themselves off as normal people by feigning emotions and lying about their pasts."

So in my opinion, anyone capable of doing this and telling a seventy year old mother, while beating her up, 'We're going to teach you a lesson. Obviously you did not know how to raise your kid', cannot be anything but psychopaths. Nothing explains this lack of humanity other than the perpetrator's physiological inability to be human. Of course this also applies to all those who give out the orders.

I really do hope Malek Jandali manages to get his family out of Syria. But I hope more that one day soon, he can play his music back home, where he belongs.

Did Nour Merheb Know Something We Don't?

I've been meaning to write a post this past week to share a few thoughts about freedom and our current state. I wanted to raise questions about whether we, as humans, can ever be really free? Do we, as a collective, really want to? And then, out of nowhere (obviously not for him), Nour Merheb, a Lebanese human rights activist kills himself. Last year, Nour had been sentenced by the Military Tribunal in Lebanon to three months in prison because he refused to pay a court-ordered fine in an assault case, in which he was the victim of a beating by an off-duty army soldier. His story in full and his struggle for justice can be found on his website.

Now it is extremely difficult to believe that there was no connection between his suicide and the sentence that he may, at some point, have had to serve. But the suicide note he left (via a video recording) leaves me a little baffled. Here are some excerpts:

الديكتاتور وشعبه

من وقت ما سمعت عن البوارج يللي عم تقصف اللاذقية وأنا عم بفكر بهالمقطع من كتاب قريتو من فترة. الكتاب اسمه (نداء ما كان بعيداً) للكاتب الليبي ابراهيم الكوني عن أحمد القرمانلي، يللي حكم طرابلس في القرن الثامن عشر وذكرني كتير بالحكام اللي عم نتفرج عليها هلق. وهيدا هو المقطع، وهو لحظة يقظ بعد ما وصلها حداً منهن:

"وبرغم أن النجاة في زمن الطاعون تعد استثناءً فريداً وهدية ربانية، لم يطمع أحد في نيلها. القرمانلي أيضاُ لم يفرح بالنجاة لأنه، ككل أهل المدينة، اعتبر الهدية حقاً مكتسباً برغم من أنه فقد في هذه المعركة عدداً من رجال دولته. ليس هذا فحسب، ولكنه فقد أعداداً هائلة من الجند، بل والآلاف من الأهالي الذين لم يعودوا بعد اليوم مجرد أهالٍ، ولكنه اكتشف لأول مرة أنهم روح المدينة وركيزة الإيالة كلها. وقد أحزنه ذلك إلى حد أيقن فيه أن البلاء لم يكتف بتجريده من الجيش، ولكنه جرده من الرعية التي رآها دائماً مجرد زحام دهماء، مجرد سواد أعظم، ولم يكتشف إلا بعد حلول النكبة أن هؤلاء كانوا هم الدولة، هم الإيالة، هم العرش، هم صاحب العرش الذي يدعي امتلاك العرش ناسياً أن لا وجود لعرش من دون وجود رعية تسند بسواعدها كيان العرش."

يللي بيقتل شعبه، ببطل حاكمه. الموضوع سهل.

Untold tales of courage: Confetti, hoover bags and a shrapnel

So here's Story 3 in the series of tales of courage by women during the Lebanese Civil War. You don't need to read Story 1 and Story 2 first but I've linked to them anyway. I am trying to collect as many as I can and so far it's been an intense experience. Here's the tale of Yola Sowan, in the summer of '82, during the Israeli invasion of Lebanon and later the siege of what was then called "West Beirut". The story took place in that part of the capital with the first shelling from the Israeli fleet. Yola didn't write the story, she relayed it to me in all its details. So this is me, telling you her story, in her voice, with her blessing:

Yes Madam, No Sir. Another classic from Lebanon.

Seriously. What the hell were MoneyGram thinking when they came up with these ads? Or is it just me and a few others who were insulted by them? But if that were true, then the voice overs of the "pilipino" and Shandra, who is only good at talking and knows it, would have been by an actual man from the Philippines and a Sri Lankan woman named Shandra. Not a Lebanese making fun of the two.

Oh and one more thing MoneyGram: It's not even funny.

MoneyGram Lebanon Summer Campaign Radio Spots:

Speaking of the Arab awakening, when are we going to wake up?

Nariman works in business development in Jordan and is on a mission to a gulf country. Throughout her trip, she would complain about the number Indians there were, and how it is difficult to understand them (once to an Indian expecting empathy), or how everything smells when they're around. At some point, she just blurts out "Look. I can't stand them. OK?" In one of the business meetings she had with a local, she started asking about the reasons for the competitive edge some companies have over others and then deduced "Yeah it's maybe cause they have so many Indians". The local business owner said "But we all employ many Indian engineers. You know they get paid more than Arabs. They don't need to come here, there's a boom in their country."

You'd expect Nariman to have been shocked to the core by this piece of info. But no. She made a derogatory remark and brushed it off. We are Arabs. Of course we are better.

True story.

The debate of the decade

Something interesting is happening in Jordan. People want to discuss issues, and they are finding more and more forums to do so. A few weeks ago, I attended two such events. The first was the "Debate on Advantages and Disadvantages of Nuclear Energy" organized by Edama and held on the 28th of June at the Landmark Hotel. The second was a lecture by Minister of Energy Khaled Touqan on "Nuclear Energy" at Shoman Cultural Center on July 4, which was followed by questions from the audience. I have to be honest that until then, I had not formed a definitive position on nuclear energy and it was in that frame of mind that I attended both debates, hoping to come out leaning one way or the other.

A long overdue dedication

A couple of weeks ago, I encountered a news item that transformed my mood into what I can only describe as a mix of sadness, quiet anger and helplessness. The news was of a jailed Iranian journalist and activist, Mr. Hoda Saber, who had died of a heart attack resulting from a 10-day hunger strike. "Mr Saber, who was in his 50s, began his strike on 2 June to protest about the death of fellow opposition figure Haleh Sahabi, during an incident at the funeral of her activist father." On the face of it, there is nothing about this tragedy that specifically warrants an emotional reaction from me. I had never heard of Mr. Saber and his death will in no likelihood affect my life. However, it was these reasons specifically that made me tweet this news story over and over. It was because I had never heard of him, because millions have never heard of him and never will, while he languished in jail and died alone, that I was saddened. It was because my life was not affected by his death that I felt culpable for being indifferent.

The social contract I never signed

Having just left the Ahliyyah School for Girls on the First Circle, beaming with pleasure at a lovely concert I had just attended (Thanks to the wonderful Dozan wa Awtar Singers), my friend Kariman and I embarked on what soon proved to be the most stressful drive in recent memory for the both of us. Apparently, we had not been warned that Rainbow street and all its side streets, were to be avoided at all costs on a Friday evening. To reach the Second Circle, which normally takes 3 minutes, took us exactly 1 hours and 30 minutes (from 9.20 pm until 10.50 pm. I can prove these numbers). Now having grown up in Beirut and still driving there quite often, I have to admit I've been through traffic like this, many many times, before. This was not the problem.

Untold tales of courage: Najla's story

A few months ago, I attempted to start a series of posts about courageous women who lived some amazing stories during the Lebanese Civil War. I started with one about my friend's mom but then never pursued it. Until today. The story for this post is very special to me, because it was written by my own mother. After some digging, I found out, from her obviously, that she actually kept a diary of everything that happened to her during the war. I asked her which one stood out more than the others, and she gave me this piece during the Israeli invasion of Beirut, in July 1982. What's below is my own translation, under it is the original in Arabic (more or less). I hope you take the time to read it, because it truly is a story of almost mad heroism that I am proud to be at least genetically linked to. And I think that with the direction this country is headed, it's very appropriate to remember the war, because this really should not be an option ever again...

32 - الحياة في بيروت

لقد انتهيت للتو من قراءة كتاب "32" لسحر مندور التي كالعادة سحرتني بولعها برأس بيروت والحياة اللطيفة ولو المحدودة فيها وأحببت أن أشاطر هذا المقطع من الكتاب:

وبينما أسعى لوضع السماعتين في أذني، أنتبه إلى أعصابي تتراقص على حافة الانتفجار. لماذا، لماذا هذه المرة؟! أستقصي السبب وأكتشفه. سائق سيارة الأجرة يعاني من عادة تبدو أنها خارج قدرته على السيطرة: يطلق زموره كل 10 ثوانٍ، "بيب" واحدة، سريعة، رتيبة، تثقب فراغ الشارع. كما أنها تبقى على ثباتها في ظل تواجد المارة فيه، حتى ولو كان اتجاه سيرهم يأتي في غير اتجاه سيره، أو كانت معالم الرياضة الصباحية بادية عليهم، أو كانوا يترجلون للتو من سيارة خاصة، أو من سيارة أجرى أخرى، أو على دراجة نارية، أو يتفرجون على واجهة عرض تجارية، أو يهمون بالجلوس في مقهى، أو يفرحون للقاء بعضهم صدفة في الشارع، أو يسيرون بشكل عادي جداً، لا يهم، يطلق زموره، باستسلام تام لعادة يتعايش معها، بسكينة، وبغض النظر عن العالم الخارجي.

أنصح بهذا الكتاب كما أنصح بآخر جميل للكاتبة وهو "حب بيروتي"، فسحر تتكلم لغة المدينة وتعرف مشاكلها اليومية، التي تتعامل معها بالكثير من الفكاهة لأنها تدرك بأن العالم قد يكون كبيراً جداً لكن رأس بيروت تبقى الملاذ الأول والأخير، وكل من عاش فيها يعلم بالضبط ما يعني ذلك.

My naïve conclusion

I feel like I’m ten years younger writing this post, saying something that should be basic to any curious and intelligent being who is well into her thirties. But I justify it as delayed maturity caused by a late onset of teenagehood at the age of 21. So here goes.

I recently read an article by Adam Curtis about development of the concept of humanitarian intervention (obviously spurred by the highly debated western intervention in Libya). It goes without saying that this extensively researched piece is a must read. However, in summary, Curtis describes how a group of French philosophers, innately interested in helping victims of injustice, started a thought movement that justified intervention aimed at achieving this justice, by force. Needless to say, that journey was a bumpy ride that in my opinion can no longer be seriously defended, for two main reasons. One is that when you use violence, for whatever reason, you will attract the vilest people who would jump at the opportunity to take advantage. The second is that no matter how well you think you understand the situation on the ground, how many experts you consult with and how smart your weapons are, you can never predict the outcome of the intervention and ensure that more innocent lives will be saved than if you hadn’t lifted a finger. So humanitarian work reaches another dead end. Where do humans go from here?

Giving the term "matching clothes" a whole new meaning

I'm currently attending CityScape Abu Dhabi, an exhibition and conference on real estate in the region. The exhibition obviously hosts booths of regional players showing off their luxiourous residential or tourist projects and investments. The booths are actually quite fancy and in most cases tasteful. But something caught my attention and increasingly disturbs me. The women representing the exhibitors are not only required to wear the same clothes (in most cases extremely short skirts), they are also dressed in accordance with brand, i.e. The same exact colors as the logo. The men, on the other hand, are simply wearing suits. What exactly does this mean? That the women exhibitors are actually exhibition items, like the branded pens and chocolates? Are they also on offer somehow?

Something is not right here.

What about ME? (A guest post by Bana Bashour)

I was recently sitting at a café in Miami when two teenaged girls walked past me with similar t-shirts saying: “I love ME”. It was obviously a play on the I love NY t-shirt, so I wondered why these young ladies felt they had to express their affection towards the Middle East. Was it out of solidarity? Out of concern? Was it that the recent developments in Egypt and Tunisia moved them so much that they had to express their admiration for that part of the world? It was only then that I realized that ME was not an acronym. These young ladies were simply expressing their affection towards themselves, and doing it so the whole world would see.

That is not a surprising image in the 21st century. Facebook and Twitter provide the ideal forum for people to share every detail of their lives, every mood they are going through and every meal they have eaten. In fact, they are so encouraged by others who “like” their statuses (the likers were probably referring to themselves and their own feelings towards the relevant experience/mood/meal). It’s not a bad thing to love oneself, it may not even be a bad thing to be self-centered, for after all, our “self” is the only lens through which we can see the world, and having a better understanding of this “self” enables you to understand the world and other people better. So what’s the problem?

The Daily Show comes to the Arab world

There is no denying that The Daily Show's Jon Stewart has become a household name not only in the US but in the Arab world as well. With his extensive coverage of world hypocrisy, Stewart has transformed comedy into a serious form of television and become one of the most trustworthy news sources out there. From US republicans and democrats to state leaders throughout the world, he spares no one. Here's a classic moment in the show on America's Freedom Packages:

The Daily Show - America's Freedom Packages
Tags: Daily Show Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,The Daily Show on Facebook

A personal message on recent events in Amman

Friday, March 25, 2011 will be marked as a sad day in the history of Jordan. It is the day we were bombarded with images of Jordanians throwing rocks and insults at other Jordanians who were protesting peacefully in the streets of Amman, demanding real reform. This group was not chanting "down with the regime" or the king. They just wanted a better country and were inspired into action by events in Egypt and Tunisia. Reckless, yes. Admirable, definitely.

The more I read about this, the more I became convinced that this was a case of a simple misunderstanding (I use "simple" in the loosest meaning of the word). Most of the stone throwers seemed convinced that the protesters had only one intention: To dethrone the King and establish an Islamic Palestinian state in Jordan. Those Jordanians truly believed they were defending their country. Misguided, yes. Needs addressing, definitely.

The generation gap

A couple of weeks ago, I attended one of the events of the Israeli Apartheid Week in Amman in which Attallah Hanna, the Archbishop of Greek orthodox of Jerusalem, was giving a talk. Upon arriving there, I immediately noticed that the age group of those attending was markedly higher than that of other events I had recently gone to, such as the Hashtag Debates at Makan House and Freedom Choir at Balad Theatre. I didn't think much of it and thought maybe this topic appeals more to the older generation than it does to younger crowds, who are now busy changing their own countries (to be fair I did spot a few familiar faces who present at all 3 events).

And then it started... One and a half hours of a talk, to people who completely disapprove of Israel, on how criminal Israel's actions are. I will not say that the Archbishop said anything that I disagreed with in principle. The problem is, he was just preaching to the choir (pun intended). My friend, Kariman, kept turning and asking me, "Is he gonna propose practical solutions?" I would just shrug, hoping that he would, knowing he won't. Because obviously, if he had practical solutions, he wouldn't be in Amman, talking to a group of people who enthusiastically applaud every time he said "Arab unity" and "Nasrallah". A woman next to us kept yelling "Yes! You are right!" at the end of each point. I am sad to say, and with all respect to the Archbishop and the struggle of his people... I was not inspired.

To motivate or not to motivate

This is not a blog post but I wanted to share this with you. It's a video debunking the myths on what really motivates us. It's a relatively old theory that I've encountered many times in the past few years, but this video is to the point and extremely entertaining (who doesn't like things explained to them in cartoons?). It also forced me to think more about my work and helped me set clearer objectives for myself. This is a must watch for anyone whose career is an essential part of their life. Here it is:

In the wake of the quake

Less than a year ago, I started suffering from knee pains and was diagnosed with what is basically weak muscles in my legs. The doctor told me that all I had to do was strengthen those muscles by doing daily exercises. I went back home excited and determined that I shall overcome this and exercise myself into well-being. So I embarked on a regiment of a 5-minute muscle strengthening exercise that I would jot into my daily calendar to make sure that I am consistent in applying it. Within a week, I started noticing an improvement. However, two weeks later, I also noticed that I was skipping days and just over 2 months after my initial diagnosis, I had completely stopped. Currently, every now and again, when my knees pains become too much to handle, I do a couple of days of exercise and think to myself "This is silly. I need to go back to doing this on a daily basis. No need to ruin my already weak knees at such a young age." But I never do.

Now, replace every "knee pain" in this story with a problem the Arab population is facing, "doctor" with "group of experts (economists, scientists, or even doctors)", "exercise" with the solution they prescribed and tell me if this isn't exactly how almost every issue is handled in our countries: Identify a problem, find a solution, start implementing, and lose steam really really quickly. Anyone who has been involved in the public sector in Jordan or Lebanon will know exactly what I'm talking about.

What we really need

A while back, my mom was planning a business trip to a certain Arab country but realized she didn't have sufficient time for the visa. Since my dad knew the ambassador, he decided to call and see if there was any way to issue the visa earlier. As soon as he started explaining the situation to him, the ambassador interrupted "Speak no more. I understand. You want to make sure her visa gets denied without implicating yourself. Consider it done!" Of course my dad then assured him that this wasn't the case at all and he had no problem with the fact that his wife, a PhD holder who owns a well known establishment for making educational toys and books for children and teaches at the American University of Beirut, travels on business.