"Here's the thing. Don't even think about an Indonesian, because they are simply not clean. Sri Lankans would work very hard in the house, but don't let them near your child. Philippinos... now that's a tricky one. They're great with kids and they can do household chores. But they will never agree to do both. Their major weakness is that they babble on about human rights and demand their day off a week. Oh and they will never let you hold on to their passport."
I did not make this up. I overheard this conversation between a woman in her mid-30s, giving advice on how to select a foreign domestic worker. For me, the most baffling thing was how this woman had gathered enough information about groups of people from 3 different countries to make this very confident conclusion. And then it dawned on me, she didn't. She probably just based these conclusions on a few experiences that she's had and feedback from her neighbours and friends. Not the most scientific of methods I suppose.
Here's another incident that always stuck to my head and made me embarrassed to be Lebanese. A friend of mine was attending a concert for Vanessa Mae in Lebanon and she overheard a conversation between a man and a woman, who probably thinks she's from the high society of Lebanon. The man was saying that the artist was allergic to flowers and that they shouldn't hand her the bouquet to her face directly. The "accomplished" woman's response was "Oh God. This woman needs a couple of slaps and a 'go make coffee'". Vanessa Mae, the world famous Vietnamese violinist, needs to go make coffee... in Lebanon.
What brings these incidents into the light for me today is the story of Rizana Nafeek, a Sri Lankan maid who has been sentenced to death for murdering a 4-month-old baby in Saudi Arabia. So many dubious issues surround the sentencing. 1. It appears that Rizana was 17 when the child died, and yet she was tried as an adult. 2. The condition under which she had confessed are not clear. It has been reported that her confession was made under duress. 3. She has no idea she has been sentenced to death.
This is just one of many many stories we've heard of where the rights of the foreign worker are completely disregarded in order to ensure "justice" for our own people. The personal encounters I described above are just few examples of our unjustifiable sense of elitism towards a people whose only fault it seems is that they are dependent on us for their livelihood. I do not understand how the same people complain that they get "random security checks" at US airports, or when they are denied entry to the UK. When you have such low regard to a human being simply because they don't have a better option than to come to you, don't expect any better treatment from others. And don't tell me you can't see the link.
8 comments:
You say this woman with the unsurpassed knowledge of racial characteristics wasn't scientific, but you then go onto say she probably based her views on a sample of neighbours and friends. Sounds like a reasonably scientific method to me. Not only were her methods scientific, she proceeds to offer a perfectly falsifiable theory! Not scientific? Popper would have loved this woman. You should listen to her.
Anyway, if you were looking for a maid wouldn't you appreciate a bit of off-the-cuff rascism to help narrow down your options? Course you would.
If at any point I needed a domestic worker, the information given in your first quote would come in handy, I will certainly hire a Philippino to look after my kids since they’re well-known for being good with kids, because it’s a fact that most are well-educated. But if I need someone to do house chores I’d go for a Sri Lankan. I’m no elitist in any way, I’m simply practical, and the most practical means of deciding on which nationality my domestic worker should be is to ask people around me, filter their feedback and then make my decision. I certainly would not go as far as conducting a social study on behavioral patterns for the mentioned nationalities.
For someone who quotes and certainly enjoys and relates to Seinfeld characters (the queen of confrontation) who are masters in satirizing political correctness, I’m sure that on some level you’d find the Vanessa Mae “go make coffee” remark funny, I know that I managed a smile, thinking about the luxury of being able to make one-on-one harsh racist jokes which can never amount to anything more than a joke.
I’ve seen racism practiced against maids in ways that I would never have imagined, and on the other hand witnessed maids being treated like members of families and gaining their trust and one night they make their big escape with whatever they can put their hands on, both cases are crimes in the real sense, yet you don’t find it excusable to seek advice on who one can trust their household and children with. I know I would.
I think that basing your argument on overheard and probably incotextual talk from people you don’t know, is as unscientific as concluding that Jews are stingy people from a John Stewart joke. And unjustifiably suggesting that “these people” should get a taste of their own medicine and needn’t complain about offhand stereotyping done in airports in the US and the UK is as random as the random check ups made in these airports.
Wow. First of all, heaven forbid these women actually take care of their own shit. Seriously. Or hire a weekly local woman to clean (a lot of Lebanese or Palestinian women could use the money.)
I work 10-12 hour days as a published research scientist, cook, clean, shop, work out, and take care of my husband who also works, cleans, does laundry, manages our finances etc. and takes care of me. We also have a vibrant social life, travel, and still manage to have free time (like right now.)
I'm not saying that there is something unethical about hiring a live-in. I'm just making a cultural critique. In my view, people in Lebanon hire live-in housekeepers out of laziness, and not out of necessity. I understand that couples who both work and have kids sometimes require full-time help. But we all know that a lot of these (Lebanese) women consider trips to the beauty salon and country club work and can't be bothered to do anything. I grew up with a live-in housekeeper, who I adore, and who adores my family. But I've never been at ease with the situation. It tends to make children lazy, irresponsible and it to the ethnic superiority complex that exists in our society. I have cousins (in their 30s) who have never moved out of their parents place, have never done a single chore, and could not survive being on their own (they've tried.) Furthermore, I think the effect on men is worse. They already come from a patriarchal society, where they expect to be waited on by their wives and mothers. Having another woman at home (the live-in) reinforces that "we deserve to be waited on" mentality.
Wow. First of all, heaven forbid these women actually take care of their own shit. Seriously. Or hire a weekly local woman to clean (a lot of Lebanese or Palestinian women could use the money.)
I work 10-12 hour days as a published research scientist, cook, clean, shop, work out, and take care of my husband who also works, cleans, does laundry, manages our finances etc. and takes care of me. We also have a vibrant social life, travel, and still manage to have free time (like right now.)
I'm not saying that there is something unethical about hiring a live-in. I'm just making a cultural critique. In my view, people in Lebanon hire live-in housekeepers out of laziness, and not out of necessity. I understand that couples who both work and have kids sometimes require full-time help. But we all know that a lot of these (Lebanese) women consider trips to the beauty salon and country club work and can't be bothered to do anything. I grew up with a live-in housekeeper, who I adore, and who adores my family. But I've never been at ease with the situation. It tends to make children lazy, irresponsible and it to the ethnic superiority complex that exists in our society. I have cousins (in their 30s) who have never moved out of their parents place, have never done a single chore, and could not survive being on their own (they've tried.) Furthermore, I think the effect on men is worse. They already come from a patriarchal society, where they expect to be waited on by their wives and mothers. Having another woman at home (the live-in) reinforces that "we deserve to be waited on" mentality.
Second of all,I understand that making pseudo-cynical "racist" jokes is a way to critique society (Russell Peters style), but in my mind, the V. Mae comment was not funny, because of the context. Having grown up in Lebanon, I don't take that as a social critique, but as racism, plain and simple given the problems Lebanon is facing with the treatment of domestic workers. I believe however, that things are changing with a large segment of our society, particularly those who have lived abroad and have experienced diversity. I have (Arab) friends who are marrying Indians, Asians, or Africans. It's beautiful.
One last thing. I knew a Lebanese Ph.D. student once. At the time, I lived with an Indian Ph.D. student, and the Lebanese woman was visiting us. The Indian student asked me if all parts of Lebanon had electricity, and replied "no", there are areas in Lebanon that don't get electricity (not to mention they haven't fixed the electricity problems we have in Beirut.) The Lebanese women didn't say anything. When we were alone, she started yelling me, saying how dare you tell an Indian, who is "below us", that we don't have electricity,etc. I am no longer friends with this individual, but I'll never forget this story. Or the story of the Lebanese doctor who started laughing when I told him my roommate was Indian. Just because. Or the story of the Lebanese banker who refused to work for an Indian boss in Dubai because that person was Indian.
What makes these stories even more ironic is that India is a country of more than 1 billion people that consists of Muslims, Hindus, a multitude of ethnic groups and languages. It is similar to Lebanon in many ways. However, unlike in Lebanon, the Indian government is not divided by religious affiliation, civil marriage is legal, and they've managed to maintain civil calm (with few localized exceptions.) Moreover, they have the largest middle class in the world. This is 1 billion people. We have 4 million people, and we can barely maintain civil calm. We have very little to laugh about.
No society is perfect. However, there is no shame in striving for perfection and Lebanon has a long way to go, much to the dismay of many Lebanese who believe they are superior.
@anonymous2 I am not judging a person's point of view. Generalizations are a human vice and we all do it without exception. My point was that this kind of generalization is leading to an elitist attitude towards foreign domestic workers, which is the main reason why their rights are not protected in our part of the world.
And no, I did not, on any level, find that Vanessa Mae remark funny.
To anonymous 2.
You didn't manage a smile on my face.. far from it. You managed to remind me of how difficult it is to make a case about obvious injustices. This is not something to be mellow about. While in your view it may amount to nothing more than a joke, it amounts to a lot more for some. Laughing about it completely degrades this human cause which people have grown so desensitized to (as clearly demonstrated by you). It is no coincidence that Human Rights Watch regularly reports about the suicide and abuse rate of housekeepers in Lebanon. Nor is it a coincidence that the Arabs just laugh it off.
I can understand that people need help at home (although one easily notices that housewives resort to housekeepers a lot more than working women do... perhaps they appreciate the meaning of work and labour more) but this does not justify the malicious stereotypes that you find useful. Yes i think they are malicious. Not only do they downgrade a person's ability (to do menial jobs like house chores) to their nationality, they also turn the reasonable expectations of a person such as holding on to their identity (i.e. their passport but i like the pun) into capricious demands.
PS: i would comment on your misreading or rather "miswatching" of Seinfeld but i have this self-applied rule that doesn't allow my comments to be longer than the original post.
Dear Cosmo,
I wasn’t trying to put a smile on anyone’s face. You totally and deliberately misread what I said. If you weren’t simply fishing for keywords, you’d find out that you were only “appalled” by coming across a comment merely because it had the words “domestic worker”, “racism” and “joke” even when it’s quite clear that they’re totally unrelated.
And if you read a bit more into the whole context, you’d understand that my point was that justifying an injustice through a totally unlinked injustice is like justifying Israelis killing Palestinians because Hitler killed Jews, with a bit of exaggeration in order to force my point even more.
I’d suggest that if you truly need to assign yourself to a cause, don’t go thrashing people just because they call things by their own names, some people, like myself, have the audacity to do so.
Anonymous 2
Dear anonymous 2,
My comment was not meant to cause a personal offense, but rather to focus attention on a serious issue which Arabs take for granted. I wanted to stress that laughing about the condition of domestic workers is too early.
One of my favorite Woody Allen quotes goes like this: "comedy is tragedy plus time". This describes so well the way humans deal with their aggressive instincts... and their vices. We laugh it off (and I am the first the laugh ) Nonetheless, we are also reasonable and social beings and as such we bare the burden of responsibility. The case of domestic workers in Lebanon, is something so close to us (Arabs) that it takes more effort to ignore than not to.
I grew up with a housekeeper and i became more attached to her than my own mother at times. She was (relatively) well treated but that doesn't change the fact that she was considered inferior to us. My parents held her passport and she didn't have specific working hours because she was always on duty or on call. The point is that my family chose not to abuse this person. Should this really be a choice? The truth is every Arab who takes up a domestic worker has the implicit right to do whatever they want with her (treat her well or badly according to their own principles). I find it cruel to not even be able to give a domestic-worker a straight answer as to whether she will be abused or simply taken away her passport. It's just a 50-50 chance she'll have to take (in all cases she will be considered "second-class").
I don't believe in hiring a full-time house keeper (i.e. 24/7 full-time not 9 to 5 full-time) because i don't want to give in to this system even if i do treat her correctly. Stereotyping is the most practical way of picking a house-keeper, indeed stereotyping is always easier. The Japanese are really smart and all black people are good at sports right? I don't want to resort to this option. I leave stereotyping for my jokes and black humor. Once the issue of domestic-workers is over and done with, i probably would find the "Vanessa Mae go make coffee joke" hilarious, until then, i keep a grim face.
Furthermore, I certainly would never stereotype the people who will raise my children. I am not that confident about stereotyping and my children are definitely worth the worry.
I hope this clears ours miscommunication Anonymous 2
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