The debate on misogyny

It's been quite an intense few days, spurred by the release of Foreign Policy's sex issue and, more controversially, Mona El Tahawy's piece Why Do They Hate Us, to which many, many feminists, activists and bloggers responded with justified, and in some cases unjustified, anger or disappointment. This post is not intended to give my own personal opinion on that piece because I think there is not much I can add that has not already been said. And although I do believe that El Tahawy's portrayal of a victimized, helpless woman is becoming exceedingly irrelevant among Arab feminists, I was happy to see the quick and massive response to her piece (which I'm sure would have been otherwise ignored if it hadn't been awarded the cover page of the magazine). The thing is, there is a movement. And that on its own is a wonderful thing.

I am sharing some of these responses, with the hope that this discussion continues and veers even further away from the argument on misogyny. Because we all know that it's so much more complicated than that:

Mona: Why Do You Hate Us?

Do Arab men hate women? It's not that simple

I don't really think they hate us!

Let's Talk About Sex

Us and Them: On Helpless Women and Orientalist Imagery

Hatred and misogyny in the Middle East, a response to Mona el Tahawy

Love, Not Hatred, Dear Mona!

A response to Mona el Tahawy « Neo-colonialism and its Discontents

Mona Kareem: In response to Mona Eltahawy’s hate argument

Dear Mona Eltahawy: You do not represent “Us”

The Real Roots of Sexism in the Middle East (It's Not Islam, Race, or 'Hate')

On "Why do they hate us?" and its critics

Eltahawy's 'hate' fuels real war on 'us'

Politics at the Tip of the Clitoris: Why, in Fact, Do They Hate Us?

Enjoy the debate!

What really bothers me about the Mother's Day sales pitch

I am well aware of what it means to advertise a washing machine or a vacuum clearer on Mother's Day. It says that moms are there to cook for you, do your dishes and wash your clothes and that the best thing you can give them for Mother's Day is something that will make that part of their life easier. And I do admit that it bugs me when I see those ads up there on the billboards, reminding us all women that no matter how far in our careers we advance, a part of society will always see us as juice making pressure cookers. But what bothers me even more is this: If the ads don't speak to anyone, why are they still running them? If appliance stores don't get flooded with customers on Mother's Day, would they all really keep spending on the same failed concept year after year?

The thing is, the problem is more than the role of women in our society - and this where I get cheesy. We buy these appliances because we can't be bothered to think about what our mothers really want for Mother's Day. Because we weren't paying attention the entire year to notice her real interests. Because deep down inside, we all think our mother is there for us, and never the other way around.

So this is just a shout out to all the mothers out there. You don't just deserve a present on this random day of the year. You deserve it every day. We'll try to be better next year.

Taking our rights, there's no other way

A few months ago, I was talking to my family about some of the major gender issues that really need to be raised in Lebanon. I also said that I am angry enough to engage in activities that promote these issues and raise awareness. To my shock, one of my close relatives blurted out "I thought you were more mature than that. We are in the midst of an Arab awakening. There's no time for western values." I am not going to go into the fit of rage that followed but suffice to say that this was not the only time I had heard such reasoning from people who should know better.

What made me think of this incident is the recent campaign against rape (#FightRape) launched in Lebanon  and which seems to be gaining quite a bit of momentum (check out and join the facebook page here). The thing is, at first, I couldn't get my head around it because the campaign is basically pressuring parliament to adopt the draft Law Protection from Domestic Violence. In other words, it is demanding that the government start penalizing husbands for raping their wives. Apparently, society in Lebanon is not ready for government to intervene in such delicate matters, and by society I mean religious leaders and by delicate matters I mean awful crimes. I always thought the most prominent issue Lebanese women faced was that they could not pass on their nationality to their children, because I relate to that. I couldn't believe that in a country that boasts its liberal values to those around it, a woman can be raped by a man and be forced to make him breakfast in the morning. But it's true. And there is no way to describe it but shameful. It needs to end.

But the problem is so much deeper than that. It's an epidemic. The country (and region) is diseased and it's time for some real solutions. I'm doing my bit and spreading the word about this campaign that is demanding a basic human right for protection from a government ambivalent to half its citizens.

If you're in Beirut then be there, on Saturday, January the 14th from noon until 3 pm at the Ministry of Interior. The demonstration will march to parliament. Bring your friends. Show those quasi-public servants that they are the only ones who are ambivalent.

Top 10 actors to look out for in 2012

It's been a while since I've made a list, and a longer while since I've written about something mindless. So here's my end-of-year contribution. A list of 10 amazing and not-too-shabby-looking actors  (ok fine, really hot and moderately talented actors) whom I'd like to see more of in 2012, because they made my 2011 that little bit more enjoyable. And I will start with the most obvious:

1. Ryan Gosling

I first saw Ryan Gosling in Half Nelson. Good movie. Good acting. Nothing to write home about. Lars and the Real Girl was original, funny and sweet. But he was a an awkward little thing. Then came Blue Valentine, in which the guy showed us some amazing talent. It was only until Drive and Ides of March though that I started to see something more. And the moment he took that shirt off in Crazy, Stupid, Love... it was all over. Watch and judge for yourselves.



2. Joseph Gordon-Levitt

Who remembers that scrawny teenager in 3rd Rock from the Sun? Here he is.

Who knew this kid was gonna grow into a bold young actor, undertaking challenging roles in indie movies like Brick, The Lookout and Mysterious Skin? His recent flicks (500) Days of Summer and Inception has given him mainstream recognition. But be on the "look out" as he blossoms into a star in this new hit 50/50.



3. James McAvoy

Maybe James McAvoy is less known for his role as Mr. Tumnus, the faun, in The Chronicles of Narnia, but this is where I first met him. Soon after he was cast in The Last King of Scotland and the underrated comedy, Penelope. His big break was surely Atonement, in which he made his mark on the soft-hearted of us - and whoever said they didn't at least hold back a tear are simply lying! Less impressive, for me at least, was X-Men: First Class - though to be honest his presence in that film made it more palatable. But seriously, look into his eyes. Don't you see a bright future that wants to just suck you in?

4. Mila Kunis

Mila Kunis started off as a silly little girl in That 70s Show. I'm not sure how much further she's ventured away from that, either as Meg Griffin in Family Guy or alongside Justin Timberlake in Friends with Benefits. However, I still think that she is a talented young actress, whose role, to be honest, was one of the few things I enjoyed in Black Swan (Yes. Natalie Portman drives me crazy).

5. Neil Patrick Harris

What can we say about Neil Patrick Harris? Teenage doctor in Doogie Houser turned serial womanizer in How I Met Your Mother turned gay in real life turned singer on Broadway. Here he is doing the  opening number at the 2011 Tony Awards. The guy's pretty funny, and he actually has talent.



6. Olivia Wilde


It's a shame that I can't watch Olivia Wilde every week as House's Thirteen anymore. She's moved on to bigger things. Guess I'm gonna have to catch up.

7. Hunter Parrish

Isn't it nice when you watch an 18-year-old become an adult right in front of your eyes? OK I sound kinda creepy but hey, everything about Weeds was kinda creepy. So, yeah, I enjoyed it. And one season I woke up, and Hunter Parrish was hot.

8. Marion Cotillard


Man. I feel like this is the only serious actor on my list... But she's not done yet.

Marion Cotillard Oscar De La Meilleure Actrice. Watch more top selected videos about: Academy Awards, Marion Cotillard

9. Darren Criss

Darren Criss, as Blaine Anderson, is the best thing that happened to Glee. After a disastrous ending for the first season, I was ready to stop. But then came this highly talented, up-beat and gorgeous yet boy-next-door-looking character, and I was back. We have caught him at the very start of his career. Let's hope there's a lot more to come.


Glee - Baby, It's Cold Outside por pedrinhorafa no Videolog.tv.

10. Emma Stone

We've been through this before and she already has a clip at the beginning of this post (with Ryan Gosling). But here she is again. Though you know what? With all her and Gosling's charm combined, they couldn't save that lame ass movie called Crazy, Stupid, Love. It was just a stupid film with only one super cool scene.

The kings of Lebanon, a country of mini dictatorships

Every time I hear about a new development in this ridiculous Middle East Airlines (MEA) story of injustice, my mouth opens wider in disbelief. Who are these people and what is wrong with them? Let me give you a brief of the story first:

1. A MEA pilot, who had been serving the company for 38 years, was diagnosed with cancer. Instead of giving him the support he deserved for being such a loyal employee, MEA management basically fired him during his treatment, without properly compensating him  in accordance with the law.
2. In response, 161 MEA pilots went on strike, the longest period being 48 hours.
3. MEA Management relented and gave the pilot his rightful compensation, and formed a medical committee to determine if he can continue work after finishing his treatment.
4. You think it's over right?
5. No. MEA management decided to punish the 161 pilots who went on strike, basically saying that they are not allowed to do so. They deducted 5 days from their salaries, to compensate for lost income to the company and threatened that whoever decides to stay on strike will be fired.

After reading more about this, I believe using the term "MEA Management" is a little misleading. It's not "management", it's one person: the company's Chairman, Mohammed El Hout, who seems adamant on putting those pilots in their place and punishing them for being trouble-makers. Al-Hout believes he is well-supported by politics and for some reason thinks that he is the king of the MEA, a company fully owned by the government, and hence the people, of Lebanon. His reactions, on an institutional level, seem exactly the same as those of any of the dictatorships we've been gaping at for the last year. Except instead of shooting at the protestors, he is threatening to fire them (I guess that's the institutional equivalent). To make the analogy even more apt, the chairman-king is accusing the 161 pilots, who come from every corner of Lebanon, of having political motives for their actions. Maybe he will soon start referring to "foreign competitor interference".

What's even more disturbing is that this is probably how every public institution in Lebanon functions. Each is supposed to serve the people, but instead is run by a person who somewhere down the line, has appointed himself king, and everyone answers to them. No questions asked.

Will it ever end?

Myriam Achkar and the Collective Response

On 22 November 2011, Lebanon's independence day, the body of a 28-year-old Lebanese woman, Myriam Achkar, was found in the woods of Sahel Alma near Jounieh, north of Beirut. She was murdered by Fathi Jaber Al-Salatini, a Syrian national working as a janitor at a nearby monastery. He had apparently attempted to rape her. First I want to extend my sincere condolences to her family - although belated. I cannot even begin to imagine the pain and suffering they are going through.

Although I was extremely shocked and angered by this crime, the reason I am writing this post is not to talk about the murder itself, but what it has shown about the level of discussion in the country. I may be mistaken but I strongly feel that this was one of the most widely discussed issue in the Lebanese blogosphere, from what it meant that she was a Christian and the fact that the murderer was Syrian to the debate about sexual violence against women in general and the irresponsible behaviour of media outlets. I have therefore collected all blogs addressing this heinous crime in this post, with a brief about some of the conclusions made for each. I will be adding more to it as I find them (please feel free to point out any that I've missed in the comments section and I will get to it).

Requiem for Jean Charles de Menezes

Many of you will remember Jean Charles, the Brazilian who was shot in the head seven times at the London Underground by the London Metropolitan police on July 22, 2005. They had misidentified him as one of the fugitives involved in the previous day's failed bombing attempts. The British people were shocked by his death and were left in a daze, wondering what the real value of their supposed security was.

Well last week, at the International Istanbul Biennial art exhibition, I found this lovely piece by the UK artist Claire Fontaine, a requiem for Jean Charles and I'd like to share it with you: